Another Worldies Pantomime : A Clueless Arian

Clueless copy

“Write a letter to prepare for an important conversation.”

This morning I have a bunch of shit and trash on my mind. So I walked pass to the northern wild against the wind. My eyes completely clear of seeing a strange stuff that lies behind the mist. In fact that’s too clear, for my eyes, as they are getting lost their light. So I set myself to stick in thinking and I opened my journal. I read this in my DayOne “Write a letter to prepare for an important conversation.”

So I started to talk to myself. Making a conversation. And I also recorded to my today’s journal. Here it is.

Never in my life, before, I become so clueless like this time. I exactly know what to choose, but I don’t know how to work it out.

Why?

Don’t ask me why. It’s what I am seeking. Why I so clueless.

I was born to be an Arian, and Arians as you know, they did not use to be of becoming clueless. Arian is a prince of love, a nature lover, a curious hunter, and descendant of Mars, son of Mars itself, that shine under the sun. Living with full of fire, burning everything, burning everywhere. Becoming clueless? He’s an odd Arian.

Here I am now, sitting in my own armchair, in comfortable place that I spend hours and hours everyday, writing and reading a books. I look out of the window out and out through the building shadow, trees in the hill, darken mountains and end up in the horizon across the dawn. She, a white star, is still there between sparkling stars. I completely have a strong reason. Locked to it. Locked to her for years, a blue smile princess. Never in my life, before, I become so clueless like this time. I exactly know what to choose, but I don’t know how to work it out.

Why?

I have a strong reason but it always twists around too. Whenever I read into a page, that I mean to it as it mean to me, my feels growing stronger and it knock me harder, that I love something which its privilege I will never have.

I certainly have become a fellow lover of valiant fighter. Living in suffering. Be ignored for particular reason. Be hated for unreasonable feelings. And beloved for bravery of doing disgusting good.

I certainly has become a fellow king among the greatest king. Unquestioned loving every people but be left for his certainly love. Be scapegoated for his honesty words.

Becoming clueless because of strong feelings getting too much stronger? It is another worldies pantomime; a clueless Arian.

Juni, 2nd 2019 | [Worldies Pantomime] : Cluless Arian | Andy Riyan

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